|
|||
|
In the vast stretch of the English language there is an innumerable amount of adjectives. Without a doubt, there is only one of those that have been touched, flipped, and seized by a single rap artist. Canibus, is unbelievable. Depending upon the context, such a term could be negative or positive. As a positive, Germaine Williams at a point in his career took that term in his hand and catapulted straight towards the sun, bypassing any high standard expectation we rap fans would've fathomed. Unfortunately his works took a nose dive straight onto the earths surface and left us with "C" True Hollywood Stories. This album is by far the worst thing I've ever heard. The tracks by themselves stand as simply a bad L.P. But when you compound all of the elements that make his career, and the gall and balls to diss Jay Z on this album, it's devastating. We start off with an introduction: lots of bragging and unwarranted boasting. "U Didn't Care" is actually Canibus rapping as if he's Stan, a character created by Eminem. Aside from the sub par rhyming--Canibus makes a pathetic white boy. According to this poor narration, Stan is rescued from his fateful plunge into the river by Canibus and befriends him. After their bonding, they go on tour together. On this issue, I cannot wait until Em stomps the shit out of him, should he decide to retort at all, because the joke is on him. Which brings us to the next track: "The Rip Off". Truer words have never been said. This is a track warning all who want it with the wayward rapper using lines like: "I'll gnaw on your bones till my teeth turn blue-gray. Or turn yellow like I ain't brushed in a few days. And the blood starts tasting like red toothpaste" ......WHAT? I could be nerdy and complain about what's scientifically wrong with all three of those lines, but I won't. The true thing that needs to be addressed is the aesthetic crime committed here. It's just horrible, horrible simile work here. From stupid biographical ramblings of the album's title track "C True Hollywood Stories," to the thuggish-ruggish-bone vocalist whining on "Different Vibe in L.A." (Uh Oooooh), from him INSISTING on incorporating Stan into his whole hustle in a skit, "Can N Stan"--it just gets worse and worse as you go further down the playlist. "Hate U 2" featuring his baton twirling sidekick Packman is absolutely hilarious. Canibus took some random sample from Zelda 2 or something and rapped over it. The phenomenal thing about this song is the hook. He actually attempts to sing in an attempt to bait his haters. If you never listen to this entire album, which I recommend, you should listen to this song for comedic purposes. It'll liven up any boring party. He throws darts at rappers who boast about diamonds and ho's in "Let Me Hear Something Else" and then makes a 'bitch song' in "Hott Tonight". I almost puked. Imagine Canibus', the angry rapper, kicking game to some woman in a song with lines like: "Don't be a mermaid, open up your legs." I'd have preferred walking in on my parents having E induced sex. Then he skips on to boasting about how much dough he has in "Get That Doe." He also uses the rhythmic pattern of the Macarena song in his hook for a sorry excuse for a flow. He even says "Aaaaaight!" at the end. *shudders* "R U Lyrically Fit" in all honesty, isn't that bad. It's a nice break, a blessing if you will. But it's still lame. And you'll just LOVE his short skit of a track called "Ya Teef iz Yellow", a freestyle session with his friends about someone's poor dental hygiene. Maybe I'm in denial. He was my favorite rapper when I came to know of him, but I'm totally convinced this is a decoy album to throw bootleggers off. There is no way Canibus is satisfied with this. There's something critically wrong with every single track on this album. I know the music business is a stressful thing to deal with. It's a lot of hype, it's hard to stay healthy and know who to trust. But like Mariah Carey, Canibus has lost his fucking mind. Do not buy this album. |
|||
